By Felicia ‘Sade Seton
Pioneer Valley Church of Christ
It is incredible to know there are over 2,000 verses in the bible about money. This makes me think that God wants to get our full attention on this topic. 1 Timothy 6:10a says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” The key here is that money itself is not the root of all evil, but the love of money is. As John 15:19b says, we do not belong to the world, and Jesus has chosen us out of the world. Since we live in the world, learning to have a healthy relationship with money will allow us and our children not to love money but to use it as a tool, as God intended.
As we know, the flip side of love is hate. Depending on how we dealt with money growing up or as an adult, the thought of money can cause anxiety in our daily lives, causing us to see it as a source of evil. Having the correct view of money and imparting that view to our children will save us headaches down the road. Ecclesiastes 7:18 states, “It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.” Guarding our hearts towards not loving money is just as crucial as not hating money. But we must strive to achieve the appropriate balance around it.
So, what does that mean for us as mothers with our children?
One of the areas of which I am mindful with my 3- and 5-year-olds is striving to balance professional work with life in general. As a mom working inside and outside the home, being intentional about quality time with the kids is essential. Constantly working has a direct correlation to money, and if I am not making time to focus on them, it will affect our relationship and their view of money. How? It can cause them to become workaholics in their adulthood or live denying the reality of the need for money.
In both cases, the view of money can be unhealthy. The first scenario views money negatively, in that, to make it in this world, we think that we need to work ourselves to the bones. The second scenario also views money negatively since we may want nothing to do with it because of the relational disconnection it can cause. We, therefore, miss out on living a full life with the understanding that money can be used to do a lot of good in the world.
Spending money on non-necessities can be seen as unimportant. Still, I have learned over the years that setting aside time to do fun things and have special getaways with the family is a great way to teach our kids about enjoying the blessings God has given us. If all we do is save at the expense of having special fun times, it can cause a child to experience distress with regards to spending. It can also result in worries about the future. Ultimately, it can cause a child or adult to fail to trust God with whatever decision he or she makes regarding the use of money.
Romans 12:2 reads, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Reflecting on how we relate to money helps us to understand our underlying patterns and behaviors around money. Ultimately, this reflection allows us to see ways in which we can change these patterns and behaviors to desired and better outcomes that connect us to God and our family in a healthier way.
Proverbs 11:25 says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
Celebration is vital in our household. We celebrate big milestones as well as little ones with our kids. Our 5-year-old often reminisces on these times, and it brings joy to my heart. Rewarding our kids with toys, phones, or whatever they may request is good, but checking to make sure we are not overly rewarding them with material things is essential. Spending quality time and celebrating with them both little and big moments connect their hearts to us and not just to the material things. They will carry these fond memories with them for years to come.
Teaching our children how to worship God with a healthy view of money by helping those in need, participating in God’s mission, and assisting other family members will shape their hearts on ways to honor God with money.
Philippians 4:19 states, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Stressing to our kids that God owns everything will allow them to know that He is the provider, not us. Similarly, teaching our children to save helps them to become good stewards of what God has given them.
Refraining from telling our kids that money doesn’t grow on trees or offering similar responses when they request money, but instead giving them a more meaningful answer offers them a refreshing perspective. Telling them that money doesn’t grow on trees implies that cash is difficult to obtain and precious. It can cause our children to feel that there is not always going to be enough money, and that it will run out.
However, we can say something along this line, “at this time, we don’t have the money set aside to do XYZ, but God will provide for all of our needs.” I did say this to my son when he was three years old during one of our conversations, and after church service one day, he went to another brother who was holding money at the book table and said to him, “my mommy needs money.” All I could do was smile, and we had a great conversation afterward.
This is such a big topic that it requires constant dialogue with our kids. As you can see, one conversation was not enough with my son. Granted, he was a toddler at that time, but constant grace-filled discussions are crucial. Continuous healthy dialogues will prayerfully shape and mold their hearts towards what God desires for money.
Wisdom and Guidance Go a Long Way
Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Based on each stage of life that our children experience, providing proper guidance through examples on how to use money as a tool goes a long way. Providing no advice does not help them to understand how God wants them to view money. As mentioned earlier, working through our attitudes towards money will allow us to be great examples for our kids in this area. It offers a way in which we can provide proper guidance.
Ecclesiastes 7:12 reads, “Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.”
The wisdom we impart to our kids will preserve their lives, teaching them to worship God with a healthy view of money.
To sum it all up, scriptures call us to avoid all extremes with regard to loving the world and anything in it. Let us take the time to encourage our hearts and our kids’ hearts to use money as a tool to glorify God. We can do this by striving to have a balanced awareness of money ourselves and passing that awareness onto our children.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this quiet time feel free to leave a comment below!
See all the quiet times from this series here: https://www.icocne.org/category/wisdom-for-moms/
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The Seton’s are amazing examples of their use and view of money, and in many other ways too! Thank you Sade for a powerful lesson.
This was so great. I love this perspective of having a balance view of everything in the world including money so our children can also have a healthy balanced view. And I absolutely love all the practicals. Thank you so much.